Continuing the Mentoring Conversations Model

As I've mentioned previously, Randy Emelo, CEO/President of Triple Creek Associates, and I have been writing a series about Mentoring Conversations.

This new model suggests the conversations that are necessary to guide anyone from orientation to decision making on an issue. Randy and I wanted to provide a tool that could be both diagnostic and prescriptive.

The fifth issue of our six part series introduces the partial confidence.

Take a look at the series. When you finish our series, I recommend that you read Randy's back catalog of newsletters.

Mentoring Conversations Model

I've been fortunate to work with Randy Emelo, CEO/President of Triple Creek Associates, for the past few months on a writing project.

We're writing a series about Mentoring Conversations. This new model suggests the conversations that are necessary to guide anyone from orientation to decision making on an issue. Randy and I wanted to provide a tool that could be both diagnostic and prescriptive.

The first issue of our six part series introduces the model. Each of the following articles will explore the conversation zones in detail.

Randy is a smart, smart guy with a lot of expertise in mentoring. I highly recommend that you read his back catalog of newsletters!

5 Applications for Video Coaching

Last week, Ken Wells and I co-facilitated a "High-Tech Speaking" Workshop at KT.

The course is excellent. We had a great time working with the attendees.

But this post is about video coaching. The High Tech Speaking workshop uses one-on-one video coaching to help attendees see their strengths and weaknesses. It makes them aware of the gap between what they feel (I feel so nervous!) and what the audience sees (But I don't look nervous!).

Video is a very powerful tool. So powerful, in fact, that I wonder why it isn't used in all training? Here's a list of five places where I would apply video training or coaching.

1. Presentation Skills: This one is obvious. In fact, I'll say that you should never do presentation training without video coaching.
2. Team Activities: We almost always tape team activities (like the spiderweb). Activities create, in 20 minutes, interpersonal dynamics that would take a year to see in 'normal' operating mode. When we capture these on video, teams can see how they ignored one employee, or divided into cliques, etc. One of my favorite uses of video.
3. Coaching: In many of my coaching sessions, coachees want to practice a dialog that they will have with a manager or peer. When they do their 'rehearsal', I sometimes video tape them (just using the video function on my pocket digital camera). We can then replay the video and look at body language, tone, and facial expressions. Very useful.
4. Coaching Role Plays: In courses that teach managers who coach, role plays should be videotaped. It's very difficult for anyone to sense how they come across, and they don't always trust feedback. Video is objective.
5. Customer Interface Role Plays: Used in the same way as Coaching Role Plays. One person plays the hot customer, while the other tries to defuse the situation. Replaying on video allows both to make constructive feedback.

The possibilities are limitless, but I'd start with these five.

How have you used video for training and coaching?

Customer Delight: Carved in Wood...

A couple of weeks ago, my colleagues and I were certified to lead the program "InsideOut Coaching". At the end of the session, we were told, "Your certificates will be mailed to you."

Okay... cool... no big deal, we thought.

Today, I received my 'certificate'.

In a box.

A heavy box.

When I opened it, I found the etched piece of furniture shown above.

Seriously... it's not often I'm left speechless (trust me)... but this did it.

If that wasn't enough, there was an personalized letter from our coach - George Knight.

Wow... wow... and wow!

Attention to detail. Delighted customer. Name your buzzword.

But we were definitely buzzin!

Here Lies Treasure...

With Eric Mead at the CMOE workshop

Yesterday, my colleague Ken and I attended a two-part workshop by CMOE (Center for Mangement & Organization Effectiveness), in Los Altos California.

We spent the morning exploring "Applied Strategic Thinking", which included a strategy game called Journey for Jewels. Modesty won't prevent me from saying who won (ahem... the team I was on doubled the nearest team). The session was fun and information.  Definitely worth checking out.

In the afternoon, we spent time with CMOE's "Coaching Skills" workshop. This is one of my favorite coaching models. I first saw it about three years ago. I decided to take a refresher, since I was already there for the Strategy session.

I wasn't disappointed. CMOE has created a strong, research-based model that I use as the foundation of much of my coaching. 

I would highly recommend you take this course.

The Facilitation Diamond

If you're at all interested in teamwork, thinking, creativity, decision-making, or facilitation - you should read "Facilitator's Guide to Participatory Decision-Making" and keep it on your shelf for reference.

The book is full of good stuff, but my favorite tool in the book is the Facilitation Diamond.

Everytime I schedule a group facilitation, I have a pre-meeting with the session sponsor.

In the pre-meeting, I draw the Facilitation Diamond on the white board to show how the session will progress.

At this point, I open my toolbox and we decide which tools will work best.

I use seven (or so) sections to the session:

1. Opening: Go over the agenda. Share the diamond flow. Perhaps a quick exercise.
2. Diverging Activity 1: Present traditional or evolutionary ideas.
3. Diverging Activity 2: Stimulate non-tradition, revolutionary ideas.
4. Transition: A break or a brain-cleansing exercise.
5. Converging Activity 1: To narrow the multitude of ideas to some actionable ones.
6. Converging Activity 2: To chose the best one (or 3 - 5 ideas).
7. Closing: Decide on next actions

I have large posters of the image above that I label with the tools that we'll be using. I hang these as the session agenda. 

It allows everyone to see a map of the energy flow for the day.

Here's a pdf that outlines the method in more detail.

What's Your Motive?

I received my latest edition of "Core Motive" magazine yesterday.

It's the magazine of the International Color Code Association.

The Color Code is an assessment tool that deals with your core motive.

There are four types:

• Red = Power
• Yellow = Fun
• Blue = Intimacy
• White = Peace

You can take a free assessment at http://www.colorcode.com/

It isn't a tool I use a lot, but I find it useful.

My engineer brain demands statistical validation of a tool before I rely on it (that's why DiSC is my most common tool).

At the same time, Dr. Rick Williams of CMOE shared a great metaphor when he picked up a book and held it in front of me, "Let's say that from the front is your Disc Profile. From the side is your Meyers Briggs Profile. From the bottom is your Color Code. From the side is your Wilson Social Styles. All together, you get a three dimensional portrait of a human being. Without one, the portrait is incomplete."

No one who knows me would be surprised to find out that my core motive is "Fun".

One of the reasons that I love Thailand is that a favorite word of theirs is "Sanuk", which means fun. When asked to do something, a Thai will often ask, "Is it sanuk?". That's always been my #1 question.

If it isn't fun, I won't do it.

Take the Color Code assessment and see what your motive is.

Is Life Coaching Bullshit?

When I grow up, I want to be like Penn & Teller.

They join a short list (which includes Tom Peters, P.J. O'Rourke, Lewis Black, Edward Abbey, Kurt Vonnegut, and Bill Hicks) of provocateurs who make me laugh and think - and, yeah, sometimes cringe a little - in equal doses.

I've seen Penn & Teller perform twice and highly recommend them.

I also recommend you watch "Bullshit!", a Showtime series where Penn & Teller debunk popular beliefs about PETA, second hand smoke, religion, bottled water, and more.

Tonight, Angie and I started watching Season Three, which includes an episode on "Life Coaching".

Now, I do a fair amount of coaching at work, but I've shared my concerns about the coaching industry on this blog.

I looked forward to seeing how Penn & Teller would present the industry.

They didn't disappoint. 

Just about every bad coaching cliche shows up in this episode.

• Pseudo-science? Check.
• Spiritual garbage? Check.
• 'Professionals' with no track record dispensing 'professional' advice? Check.
• Clingy, co-dependent relationships? Check.
• The unqualified leading the unqualified (by setting up coaching schools)? Check.
• No sense of irony or perspective? Check and check.

Is there legitimacy in the coaching industry? 

Yes... a little.

Most of the coaches I've met are smart people who want to help others.

But, I've met others who are trying to make a quick buck in a trendy industry, or take a shortcut to success - "I want to give financial advice, but don't want to take the time to get a degree. I know, I'll be a financial coach!!" Stay away from these charlatans, please!

Even if you are lucky enough to find someone who is smart and wants to help, investigate their track record. Is she a bored housewife who took a weekend course? Is he a self-employed coach who needs to keep his schedule full?

Most importantly, are they driving for real results? 

1. 'Real' coaches get quantifiable results for their clients.
   
2. 'Real' coaches refer their clients to financial professionals, real estate professionals, and health professionals when required.
3. 'Real' coaches 'quit' their clients after the results are achieved.
4. 'Real' coaching builds independence, not dependence.
5. 'Real' coaches aren't psychics, don't channel, and don't cuddle clients (I admit, that all these activities are highly entertaining... but I wouldn't look for guidance from them).

As with most things, buyer beware.

If you're in business, a business coach with a track record might be just what you need.

But, as Penn & Teller point out:
The time, money, life energy, and emotional investment you will make in a life coach would - in most cases - be much better spent on something real... a friend.

The Three Best Ways to Learn Coaching

Today I attended the Coaching for Brilliance workshop conducted by my friends at Brilliance, Inc. The event was hosted at a Cisco facility (thanks Cisco, and... hey, nice lunchrooms!!).

Heather and Denise facilitate a great session that covers all the bases in one day.
It goes without saying that the best part of the class are the 'live' coaching sessions - but I'll say it anyway.

The problem is, one day of coaching isn't enough. This isn't an issue with the course or design - hell, one month of coaching wouldn't necessarily be enough.

It brought to mind a question I've had many times. If there's a ToastMasters, where people can practice giving speeches in a 'safe' environment, why isn't there a CoachMasters that does the same?

The three best ways to learn coaching are:

1. Coach... a lot - using any method of your choice (but have a method or framework) - and get informed feedback on your performance.
2. Get coached - feel what effective and ineffective coaching feels and looks like.
3. Observe coaching - watch coaches coach, and break down what worked and didn't work.

You can attend a hundred classes. You can read a thousand books. But if you don't do these three things, you won't reach coaching competence (let alone greatness).

It turns out it's easy to do these three things. Just get three coaches together and coach in triads - one coach, one coachee, one observer. Coach one round, give feedback, and rotate. You can do three twenty minute cycles in an hour.

NFL players practice game scenarios over and over, so that they're ready when it's showtime. We do the same thing for important presentations (ummm... you do practice before a presentation, right?), so you should also do it for coaching.

There's my advice... start a CoachMasters at your workplace...

Application of a Personal Vision

Clarence Eddy and Heather Hinrichs-Andersen

This past March, I was attending a DISC training class at Ken Blanchard Corporation, in San Diego. The course was led by Drea Zigarmi, a great teacher and a wise man. One day, Drea asked me what my life's vision or purpose was.
I attempted to laugh him off, but he challenged me to live my life with intention. He must have struck a nerve, because since then, I've kept working on this vision of mine.

About one month ago, these words came out of me, "My vision is to live in a world where every human interaction results in a positive learning moment for both parties".

I like it. It captures what I've been trying to do in my life, as I've been living through my life.
Whether as a songwriter, a photographer, a traveler, an engineer, a manager, or as a facilitator - all I've really wanted to in my life is learn and share learnings 24 x 7.

Last week, I was having lunch with my friend Heather Hinrichs-Andersen of Brilliance, Inc. Heather and I were discussing coaching. Heather is very passionate about coaching.
I'm not.

Don't get me wrong... I enjoy coaching.
I view it as an essential part of any development plan. I do a lot of it.
But I don't get the same thrill from it that I get from facilitating a group session.
There's a difference between the reflective energy of one coachee vs. the active energy of a group.
While I enjoy coaching at the moment I'm doing it, I don't wake up thinking, "How can I get more coaching on my plate?"

As we talked, I tried to make sense of this. The fact is, I don't learn as much when I'm coaching as I do when I'm facilitating a group.
Coaching is about the coachee learning. It isn't about the coach learning.
Facilitating on the other hand is a full-time learning experience for the facilitator.
There may not be a 'next session'.
The facilitator has to learn, adapt, and get results within the time allotted.

It was interesting. Heather immediately caught it, "Facilitating is aligned with your vision. Coaching isn't."
Maybe I'm selfish... but helping isn't enough for me. I need to learn while I help.

That's the kind of thing that's good to know!

What is the Most Effective Educational Situation?

I'm reading The Adult Learner by Knowles, Holton and Swanson for my Masters degree class, and I came across psychologist Carl R. Rogers' five "basic hypotheses" of learning.

Number 5 is the one that resonated with me today:

"The educational situation which most effectively promotes significant learning is one in which threat to the self of the learner is reduced to a minimum, and differentiated perception of the field is facilitated."

Hmmm...
If "threat to the self of the learner is reduced" equals creating a safe environment and "differentiated perception of the field is facilitated" equals enabling a shift, then Carl R. Rogers suggested that coaching would be the most effective educational situation.

As much as I love classrooms, I agree that they are not optimal for creating a safe environment. Many people will not open up in a group setting, no matter what you do.
And it's hard to 'create the shift' in a room full of people, as well.

I'll be honest - I enjoy teaching and facilitating groups a lot more than I enjoy coaching. 
Coaching is fun, but I learn more in group settings. I also feel that I make a bigger impact in groups.

I'll have to think about this quote and observe the dynamics in both settings before I decide whether I agree or not... 

What do you think?

Testing... Testing... for Coaching Certification

I spent a couple of hours this morning taking my test for IAC certification.

Not an easy test, by any stretch, so I relieved to find that passed, with room to spare.

The second part of certification will be to tape my coaching sessions and submit them for review.

I think that will be easier than the test... at least I hope so!

If you're serious about coaching, I would recommend looking at the IAC. The "IAC Coaching Masteries Workbook" provides an excellent framework for effective coaching.

1. Establishing and maintaining a relationship of trust
2. Perceiving, affirming and expanding the client’s potential
3. Engaged listening
4. Processing in the present
5. Expressing
6. Clarifying
7. Helping the client set and keep clear intentions
8. Inviting possibility
9. Helping the client create and use supportive systems and structures

You don't have to join to buy the workbook, but you'll probably want to.

Putting the Support back into Technical Support

I led a workshop today at our office in Yokohama, Japan.
The workshop is called, "Coaching for Technical Support Engineers".

In the class we discuss the Situational Leadership Model, which points out that there are four stages of development.
Without explaining the model (go here for some details), a coach needs to provide varying levels of direction and support, depending on what stage of development the coaching target is at.

Typically, in our company, we excel at 'Directive' coaching, and do less well at 'Supportive' coaching. The problem with that scenario is that many of your employees won't grow to self-sufficiency.

What's interesting is that our field offices really feel this conflict.
They feel that they are at a level of development where they require support, not direction, from HQ.
Unfortunately, our culture (along with the natural inclination to want to control things that are far away) drives us to over-direct.

The answer? Well, we need to train the coachee to say, "Wait. I don't need direction here. I just need your support."

Then? Well, then we have to support them...